The world in which I now find myself is constantly changing. It feels like I am on a roller coaster most of the time. Sudden changes in direction make me disorientated and anxious. I have come to realize that balance is a gift from God, one in which I am loosing grasp of, spending most of my days in a constantly changing eddy of nausea, unstable footing and brain fog.
I have been living on this roller coaster, one in which you cannot get off, as it continues to fly around the tracks dipping from side to side, and then abruptly changing direction as it turns into a corkscrew or series of overhead loops. The constant sound of the tracks clicking and clacking, the continual ringing in my ears is ever present.
Growing older is no picnic however being younger can also be confusing and challenging as well. There seems to be a stretch, right in the middle of life, where time stops and everything is how it should be. Children are respectful of their parents and parents are careful not to overwhelm their children.
Everything runs smoothly during the middle years of our lives. It is like a merry-go-round or slow gondola ride where we seem to just glide along. Family is at the top of the list, careers are in full swing and people are actually interested in what we have to say.
Letters, packages and e-mail get delivered to the right address. Our neighbors do not resemble the Manson family and are very happy to help us, for the most part. Our dogs are resentfully respectful of our cats while our cats demand our dog’s favorite toys, treats and special spot to lie in.
There has not been a split at our corner church and all members respect all other members putting the needs their before their own. Handicap parking spaces are left open for people who really need them; not being taken up by those who have coerced their physician to grant them the privilege.
Even our local sports teams seem to run smoothly through the middle years of life unless we live in an area like Southern California where our beautiful weather gives way to fair weather fans. Going to a hockey game expecting to see a fight turns into the players helping each other up off the ice and not out of the penalty box.
It is in these middle years of life that we are pleasantly tracking up the longest run in life. We feel the cogs under our car making a clunking sound as we inch our way up to the top of the ride. Once there we breathe deeply, exhale and hold on for dear life. Now, with eyes wide open, we look down at obstacles coming fast upon us. We are headed down into the part of life that can either cause us to abandon ship, medicate ourselves or hold on tighter being thrilled with the ride.
I don’t think I am asking to go back in time to the point in life where I do not meet the height requirement but instead I want to have a silver crown that can still be captivated by life’s motion. Still, I will continue to detest large swells where the horizon is constantly disappearing from view and I find myself running to the side of the boat to deliver the contents of my lunch into the ocean waves.
I guess what I am trying to say is… I am seeking to live in a place where there is no longer any heartache, pain or suffering. If tears are shed they will be wiped away. A kingdom where the sky is burning, illuminated by the glory of God’s presence. I want to be thrilled with eternal life where heaven gets larger the further I go in.
This new kingdom will have a King who will be without spot or blemish. He will be a master craftsman, creator and artist whose work will be incomprehensible. The constant spinning motion that holds us to the earth as we revolve around the sun, turn on our planet’s axis causing our planet’s surface to shift, shake and quake will come to a stop.
So I am determined to finish this ride in God’s grace, not giving into anxiety and motion sickness but persevering until my car comes to a gentle and subtle stop. As I get off this ride the Lion from the tribe of Judah will be there to greet me. The Magnificent, Son of God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. His love never fails, He will never give up and His love is constant and forever. There is no motion sickness when one is standing on the stable foundation of Jesus Christ.