As we look at connective relationships, true and honest communication is key. There is a subtle but dynamic difference between what we think and the way we feel. Many of us growing up were not encouraged to express our feelings, therefore we learned to suppress and not even perhaps be aware of what we are feeling.
The first rule you can go by is to identify YOUR feelings. If you begin a sentence with: “I feel like you don’t”, is not expressing YOUR feelings. You are expressing your assessment of another person. Generally feelings are not being clearly expressed when the word following “feel” are: “that, “like” and “as if” or after pronouns such as: “I, you, he, she or they”.
Each of us has needs that we desire to have fulfilled in relationships. If our needs are not being met, our feelings might include such emotions as: anxious, confused, disappointed, helpless, resentful and sad. If our needs are being met, our feelings might include the emotions of: cheerful, relaxed, loving, secure and excited.
Identifying what we are truly feeling and expressing that feeling to another without blame or shame can open the pathways of true heartfelt communication. Open hearted communication may be a giant leap for some however, when we are open and honest, and may even feel vulnerable chances are it will be received with appreciation and honesty in return. Why? Because within each and every person there is a divine light of love that when shared from the heart, is recognized.
Say with me: “Today I take the time to recognize my needs and desires and am able to express my feelings to others with clarity and heartfelt honesty. I am excited to make new friends and deepen my current relationships. For this I am grateful.”
